The Stimulus Idea

'Following the Speaker's logic here, as best we can, the fewer children born the better it is for the economy. States with fewer children to educate and care for can lower their expenses. Fewer kids save money and stimulate the economy in Nancy's Wonderland. But wait. Employees at Canon in Japan, where the birth rate is alarmingly low, are being encouraged not to stay late at work, but, instead, to go home and make babies.

And, as if I wasn't confused enough, WPRI TV 12 in Providence, Rhode Island reports that the "Bad economy spurs egg and sperm sales." These days, more men and women are trying to survive the bad economy by selling their sperm and eggs.

Now I'm thoroughly stupefied.

But there's a simple solution that I now, as a concerned citizen, offer to the Speaker. Congress federalizes the egg and sperm farming industry solely as a source for exports to Japan. Japanese workers can then stay at work. State and Federal Governments here make money and, thereby, stimulate the economy by not having to underwrite the feeding, health care and education of children. Meanwhile, the spegg (sperm and egg) donors get their own individual economies stimulated. It's a win-win all the way around.'

- Lee Cary, 'Nancy in Wonderland'.